~*succession spoilers below*~
~*you have been warned*~
i finally caught up on succession this week. i’d been meaning to watch the show for a while, but my friend had warned me that there was a pretty serious addiction storyline. last week i was feeling nice and stable, so i went for it, knowing that i might have to stop watching if it got too real.
a few episodes in to the first season, i texted my friend saying i hoped it was roman who ended up with the substance issues, not kendall, Certified Recovery Boy. i thought it would be trite and disappointing to make a relapse the centerpiece of the show.
so when kendall walked in to that stupid bar in that stupid town and looked at the bartender in that stupid way, i was shouting nononononono don’t do it kendall nonononononononono at the stupid tv to no stupid avail
i had hoped to finally see a character in recovery maintain their sobriety during The World-Shattering Event. my world has fallen apart a handful of times in the last four years and i worked so hard not to use as a result. (pls just let me have this humblebrag!!) where’s my representation??? where are the scenes of someone using their SMART Recovery workbook to ride out an urge to drink? or someone texting a crisis line instead of ordering a vodka on the rocks????
well, if i couldn’t have a recovery hero in kendall, at least i could have a very realistic portrayal of someone in active addiction.
over the span of one episode, we see this rich mfer go from downing one drink to smoking meth, leading to one of the greatest lines in the series: “i am interested in becoming a meth head.” i mean, if you’re going to be un-sober, you might as well go all the way. for those of us with substance use disorder, moderation is…a challenge.
plus, in kendall’s case, everyone already thought he had started using again anyway. the damage was already done. honestly, if i hadn’t told everyone and their mother that i’m in recovery, i probably would have started drinking again years ago because of the aforementioned world-falling-aparts. if i had the choice between a) fighting everyone who thought i had already started drinking again or b) making everyone who thought i had already started drinking again correct by drinking again, i would almost certainly choose b.
for the rest of season one, we watch kendall use on a regular basis, which i appreciated purely because it accurately depicted how you can be fairly high-functioning and “normal” while using. but all it takes is one tiny stupid decision to ruin your life and end someone else’s.
i’m not going to go into the whole “rich man kills a poor kid on a quest for drugs” of it all because this is already my longest post yet, but that plot point illustrated how your decision-making faculties completely change when a substance is in the picture. kendall ignores about 4,000 obstacles between him and the coke he wants because that’s what addiction does to you. he has to mingle with a plebeian? sure. the kid is high on special K and can’t drive? no prob, special Kendall will take the wheel. a stick shift? i mean how hard could it be. banter about kidnapping? cute! it’s all merely a means to a high.
what also makes kendall’s drug use less of a trope is that it’s not his only personality trait. he starts using more than halfway into the first season. his intelligence, ambition, and character have already been established. we know he comes off as a pompous asshole in business meetings but then worries about the morality of his decisions behind closed limousine doors. he is not the deadbeat, drug-addled son; rather, he is the sensitive golden boy who bravely overcame his addiction.
so when he wakes up in season two having literally shat the bed after a night of using/nearly killing himself and naomi in a helicopter (another time when i screamed nononononono at the tv), it’s not a moment of comic relief where the party boy gets what he deserves. instead, it’s another frustrating consequence of his use that continues to f up his life.
just when the show gets close to glamorizing drug use, it reminds you that addiction can lead to instability, humiliation, and tragedy. that balance is what makes the show more resonant than triggering. i was worried that watching kendall start using again would make me want to use again, but let’s be real, i already deal with that every day. what i found was that watching kendall start using again reminded me why it’s so important that i don’t do the same: i can’t afford to hire people to scrub the feces out of my sheets. i’d have to do it myself, and that sounds exhausting.