ok week two of my saturday blogging commitment is not going exactly according to plan, but that’s ok. in my ideal fantasy world i would have done this in the morning, but we do not live in my ideal fantasy world and it is 9pm. fine. i did spend quite a lot of time writing… Continue reading chana masala
Tag: loss
i don’t like new years
well, i survived my least favorite day of the year. new year’s eve has been difficult for me ever since i stopped drinking. it always reminds me of the times i did drink (2015: nearly broke my nose by walking face-first into a sliding glass door), the times i almost drank (2018: the closest i’ve… Continue reading i don’t like new years
every time
i haven’t felt this breathless sadness in a while. it’s been anger, pain, or numbness lately. but tonight it’s hot, streaming tears that remind me i have skin that feels, and it’s tight, quick gasps that remind me i have lungs that work. and i’m grateful to have those things, but i wipe the tears… Continue reading every time
life after death after loss
one day this week, i found two ladybugs on my nightstand right before i fell asleep. TWO!!!! ladybugs are already lucky and i got *two*. then the next morning, my dead ex’s mom texted me out of the blue to send his and her love. if you try to tell me those two events are… Continue reading life after death after loss
timelines
i have this obsession with time that i could really do without. you know, it’s that idea that you’re supposed to achieve certain milestones by certain times in your life, and if you’re off track, you risk being ostracized by society forever. it’s like there’s some standard timeline we’re all supposed to follow OR ELSE.… Continue reading timelines